I hope you are well….
Are you keeping well? Please do. It’s a long journey ahead. All the Best, to you and me :)
Hi, It’s me again. Are you all doing well? I really hope so. And I am a little unsure of what to tell you of my whereabouts. But these thoughts are too cluttered and I just have to bring them out or I may go crazy. I believe I don’t want that, so here it goes.
I have got an injury and it is painful like hell at times. I cannot straighten my elbow and keep getting it smacked here and there. It has made me feel dizzy and I have literally slept for seven hours straight. That is not me. I cannot afford to sleep that long and without having a productive day. But today, I just had enough of it. I woke up and I wrote something, finished an old article and did some other stuff besides social media scrolling. And then I went out for a while with a friend.
After coming back from a usual morning walk, it was me and my loneliness again in my room against the whole world. My boredom stirred and my emotions went on a rollercoaster ride. My emotions have been really taking a toll on me for some time. A wave of tears washed over me and it led me to a breakdown. I don’t understand much but it has a lot to do with my everyday routine. I get too overwhelmed by things. My internship, my applications, the assessments some of which I missed and some that are due today, and at the end, managing my expenses in a new city. These things are breaking me. But worry not because they are also the things that are strengthening me. I am having a tough time dealing with all of this, but dealing is important, especially on your own. Tough life lessons at the cost of comfort zone. And I am glad about it. Because what other way could there be to become a headstrong person, who can face anything head on. Surely not a person who lived as a princess, cocooned in the parents’ presence. And I would hate to see myself become a meek person and a weak identity.
I can’t lose myself trying to search for peace and rest. Because it is just starting. And I have no plans of taking a break and breaking myself forever. And if I were to break my younger one’s heart and do the things that are really meant to, complete the tasks that are really important, and build the life that I dreamed of as a kid on my own, I am ready.
The battle is on and I am ready. Ready to face the world. Fiercely and Bravely. Just that on some days, I want to lie in bed all day, cry my heart out, lean on someone’s shoulder, shed a bucket of tears, clean my room aggressively, rant here with all of you, talk to someone close, or just forget how unproductive I was.
May things be better ahead.
You may reach out to me for suggestions, queries, advices, or complaints at soovlogss@gmail.com
Signing off
So
