Oftentimes when Mom doesn’t talk well, don’t you feel your days are incomplete. I legit feel bad and my day feels void.
Hello Mom! How are you? Hello beta(kid)! I am good! You say. You don’t miss me na, Ma. You don’t call me and you don’t pick my call. Yeah, Yeah, I don’t miss you.
These are the few initial exchanges of my mother and I on a phone call sometimes. Although I fail to understand the why and how of it, it just happens. And on random days, when I am unable to talk to her well, the intensity rises the next day. My mother and I are soulmates(kind of). Not always but. I have started realising it recently because the way she has supported me with all her unwavering attitude is too damn commendable.
And yeah, we are not literal soulmates because I fail to understand her sometimes. I fail to protect her at times. I hurt her at times, even though unknowingly, but a hurt is a hurt. And its guilt eats me. Mothers are such lovely beings. They forgive their kids with so much ease. And yet, here we are, throwing tantrums to the angel herself.
But yeah, now I have realised that it is important to say sorry. It is so easy with friends and cousins to say sorry to, right? But when the tables are turned and we face our parents, suddenly something chokes us hard. The stakes get so high and still apologising cannot be done. This has happened to me a lot of times. And it used to get so awkward that I could not talk freely. But once, my friend got to know and she just told me to apologise to my mother. It was tough. Very tough. But I went ahead, because I knew it was the correct thing to do. And things were better. The awkwardness left. My mother was a little happy too. And then, ever since I have hurt her sometimes, always tried to avoid it but sometimes it just happened. But I have tried to reconcile with an apology too. That makes her day a little better too along with mine. You know why? Because she is my best friend. If I don’t talk to her everyday, my day gets ruined. I feel pangs of pain and feel weird all day.
Recently, after much pleas and my mother having too much sympathy for me surviving my hostel, she visited me with a load of home made food. And I just cannot express how much I loved it and was in awe of it. We had a good time together, talking and sharing with each other. I went to drop her and I came back from midway as my mother commanded. Taking a few steps ahead, I turned back to look at her. She was walking and then she turned too. We waved at each other and that was when I realised that probably she is my love, the true one. And yes, she is, has always been. I am incomplete without you, Maa. And I love you. I just wish that the day comes soon when you become proud of all my achievements.
From a daughter, soovlogss@gmail.com
Until next time!
Signing off
So
