What are your special moments? The moments that you crave and they retain themselves forever in the hearts, etched in memory. Could be with someone special and important or it could even be with yourself just. What are your core memoirs? The ones that have you and your family or friends? But the eternal peace and a place away from chaos is found only within, right? And when either you are very happy or you are just calm, the moment becomes special.
For me,one of it has always been the time spent with my father. I do not always have a great conversation with him, but whenever I do, it gets retained. I remember him telling me stories about his school, his strengthening me saying I am his son, his brushing me up and sending me in the cyclones again, his slaps that have killed me and his crying later on, his protective side emerging for me, his asking for my issues about finances, and all. Basically, the whole life that I have lived till now is a gift from my parents. And I have such strong opinions of my father that sometimes I shake even just by his fear. I love him. I respect him. But the power of fear overwhelms me so much at times that it really gets hard for me to escape his ground. He casts an invisible spell on me and it binds me really tight. Though the problem does not exist, it does for me because Dad is associated with it. I have legit got myself stuck in imaginary situations because of this. My personality traits reflect a lot of him. Anger issues, lack of patience, irritating behaviour, childish attitude, and some more. He is the one who had the power to ruin my board exams. Luckily I saved myself but the effect he has on me is tremendous. I know he is my father and this fact just does not let me breathe sometimes. Our ideologies differ and that’s where I stand at the witness stand. I am a little unable to break through his invisible shackles over me.
He has never tried to force things on me until of course, I am in the wrong. The concepts of right and wrong were introduced to me by him. Therefore, it gets a little nasty when it comes to standing against him and questioning him or fighting him. But I guess it’s time I choose to be myself too and not just his daughter. I am his little princess but I have to be a queen of my reign too. I am his little baby girl but I have to be a woman of substance too. I am the one who he taught to walk but I have to finish the race now. I am the one who has a ton of similarities with him but, I am not him. I am the one he takes preaching classes with, but I am the one he has conversations with too. I am the one he has trained but, I am also the one who implements it with him. I am his daughter but I am a human being too. I am his blood but, not only his blood flows through me.
My father has been my inspiration and strength a lot of times. But ever since he started being a weakness, I have been playing on the back foot and I do not blame him. The fault is in me not being able to live for myself. But I will meet my father on this side only. I will make him proud. Because who would I want to cheer me forever? And who would always stand by his little girl?
My father.
From a loving daughter to her respectable Father, this is soovlogss@gmail.com
Until next time!
Signing off
So
