Oftentimes we read about self love and it hits a nerve too. But are we really aware or are just pretending?
I was reading something on Self Love today. And I must say, things are so easier said than done. A mere two words but the significance, implementation and the depth is something no one understands well. We probably break ourselves a hundred times and then we probably learn what is meant by loving our own self. Everyone lectures about how humans matter on their own and that they are valued, but how long it takes to understand what it means by “You matter” and “Self Love is the remedy”.
Let me tell you a story, I will keep it short. Years back when I experienced my first heartbreak through a crush, I was still positive. Because we fall for new faces and phases all the time. I found a new one and then again a new one. Crushes are harmless, but only until you start being stuck on one person and the whole world turns out to be invisible to us slowly. Feelings got involved and that is how the boat changed directions. Now, we don’t heal, because we made that one person the pivot of all our attention and framed all the imaginary stories and future plans with them. And if it shatters, well it is bound to hurt.
When I had crushes, they were temporary. I liked them for something superficial and a negative trait subtracted their score too. Then we went on to find a new person to crush upon. Sounds cool because we give ourselves importance here. But when we start seeing ourselves with someone, in their positives, negatives and are dedicated to fight for them and they leave us, that leaves us with emptiness, because the relationship becomes the focal point. We let that person become more important than us. Because we were not secure enough in ourselves. Because we did not step out of it throughout and left the world as it was. Because we travelled only to certain areas and that too with them. Because we denied ourselves the things that we did before they came into our lives. Because we stopped being with ourselves to be with them.
That is why it is important to keep your stance to yourself, your individuality, stability, and sanity to yourself. Hold that power because the world outside is run and affected by a lot of outside factors. If things inside us also start to follow someone else’s tunes, where will we find shelter? Where shall peace be stationed?
Thus when we are told about Self love, we are basically told to not over rely on someone else, to not let our whole world revolve around them, to not let ourselves be at someone else’s mercy, to hold the power within, that even if they left, it would hurt us but not crumble us. Because the pain of a loss is one thing, the pain of losing one’s own self is a vicious place.
Learn to control your emotions that don’t sway you away. Hold that thought that is deviating you from being unbiased. People will shout self love but it will not make sense until you know your worth. We must know our value first and the world shall then know how priceless we are. It will take courage, but do it for yourself.
Let’s be kind to ourselves. Let’s keep the master technique of our happiness in our hands. Let’s be humans, kind and gentle but let us also be brave and fierce. Because the world will not see the tears and if they did, would neither understand nor value it.
This letter is from someone who has been in pain, grieved a loss, and then has been trying to find herself. Through realizing her worth, and braving it, she stands tall now. She has had her share of tears but now she knows that she is enough for her own happiness.
Mail for queries, suggestions or sharing stories- soovlogss@gmail.com
Until next time, Signing off,
So
