Ever felt a surge of power after any minor event? I will tell you when this feeling gets its onset. While walking the roads, crushing the dried leaves was one of the initial actions. Following this were others among Destroying someone’s sand house, Crossing someone’s name written, Tearing pages people love, Ruining someone’s colour shades,etc. The point is all these events have somehow given us a sense of happiness while we were kids and some sense of achievement afterwards. And these small happy moments tend to outgrow us and lead us to hurting people’s sentiments later on too. When the difference of right and wrong gets subdued due to our increasing hunger of mockery and its subsequent satisfaction, one becomes a bully.
Studies show that bullying has long been considered as a form of passage into adulthood but over time, it has been realised that the situation has a lot of underlying reasons, problems and harm. When someone repeatedly harms others, either by word or action in social, physical or psychological ways,it shows that concern of making others feel helpless.
The reasons vary on different scales which cover majorly
- wanting to dominate others and improve their social status
- having low self-esteem and wanting to feel better about themselves
- having a lack of remorse or failing to recognise their behaviour as a problem
- feeling angry, frustrated or jealous
- struggling socially
- being the victim of bullying themselves
Several times when the lens of understanding is missing or vengeful attitude gets born, it results in dire consequences. While this results in severe outbursts to the victim, it is no easier for the bully too. The way things escalate in their life from a fine dwelling to bearing a punishment is tough. It does harm to overall everyone who is associated. Resulting in mental trauma, broken confidence, low self esteem, anxiety, depression, it takes a really long time to come out of it. The situation commands immediate action but the healing takes a lot longer. The broken people with their bandaged feelings do not start feeling better in a snap and certainly their whole family lands in a similar predicament too. Their efforts get placed in helping the victim and making him or her feel safe again.A detailed and informative study suggests all the different ways to recognise bullies, safeguard your family and help them recover from their pain which is available here https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/bullying.
The situation gets worse for the bullies. While they have been trying to find an escape from their usual life and resort to the worst of methods of bullying, their life ahead becomes quite miserable. Bullies are more likely to become anti-social adults, more likely to be involved in domestic violence and child abuse, more likely to commit crimes and more likely to have children who also are bullies.Some bully just because, some because they’ve been bullied, some because they want to be powerful and popular, and most — because they have learned this behavior at home. Studies prove that it might not be acceptable to them much but the ways of dealing with them vary. Reference: https://www.stompoutbullying.org/blog/bleak-future-bully
Bullying expert Dr. Malcolm Smith said, “bullies must be disciplined, not punished,” and bullies must admit that what they did was wrong. “That is the first part of re-educating a bully.” But chances are bleak that this may happen. It requires proper counselling and family’s help to guide them properly. And still if they do not mend their ways,life ahead is quite a harvest of what they have sowed. A path of loneliness where rights and wrongs do not matter and people do not matter. As a fact and an acknowledgement, Family is the base and only they can help you in any situations. They need to take the step to build the conscience again either with love or through discipline.
And Because anyone could be an impostor at the end of the day, We need to be cautious of our surroundings and voice out our concerns and issues by being the honest and true self.
Stay safe people..and for any complaints or critics,gratitude or appreciation, I am all ears.
Until next time!
Signing off
So
